Slow Shopper Strikes Again

I posted once before showcasing my tendency to "slow shop." Apparently everything I wrote within the fist installment of this idea of slow shopping is nothing more than child's play compared to the circles of shopping hell my personality is capable of suspending myself in in a paralyzed state of shell shocked, second-guessing horror. Winter is upon us and as an avid biker, with winter comes, more biking, only cold.

The last few winters (I biked little the first and a bit more last winer) my chosen garb consisted of a set of long johns I've owned since high school with a long sleeve shirt thrown over the top, a puffy vest over that and jeans to complete the bottom. It worked alright, but needless to say, I am lucky I don't sweat very much. The clothes I have worn in the past are tried and true and known to keep me warm when I need it, however, they don't breath, they don't wick and on those horrible days the temperature decides to shoot up ten degrees within the course of an afternoon, the ride home is on the toasty side.

This year I had the bright idea of investing in a true bike coat. At first, I wanted something that would replace everything. Just one coat to do the job. However, layering is an important commodity in biking (cite the days it shoots up ten degrees) so I decided one coat to rule them all would not be a wise way to go. However, I remain a frugal man and there's nothing on this earth that could compel me to, in one season, let alone one day, run out and buy anything that could resemble a wardrobe of sorts. It's one or two pieces per year and that's it. On top of that, I already have certain pieces (vest) that I like and know work, so why not find something to go with my existing apparel?

While browsing I began with general bike coats, similar to a few I had have my eye on online at the moment. Not unlike the three big aspects one keeps in mind while looking for a diamond (carrot, cut and clarity), there exist "the big things" all bikers want in a winter coat. A good winter coat to be used for biking must be wind resistant, but it must also breathe. The coat must be water resistant, but the inner layer must "wick" moisture from the bikers sweaty skin. Basically, when you're explaining what you want to the sales rep you end up feeling like some lunatic who can't open his mouth or say two things without them being completely contradictory. While explaining my needs all I could think was the fact that this rep must be thinking something along the lines of "who the hell is this madman?" In short, the perfect biking jacket is simply a materialized ideal of the Midwest with no winter (I want to bike through the winter but I'd like to not feel it). The jacket that's warm yet ventilated, it repels yet wicks moisture, it lets moisture out but not in, it's warm when it's cold and cool when it's warm.

Anyways, no one jacket holds all of the above aspects. As I have now seen, many claim to retain them all but any honest sales rep will let you know the truth. Twenty minutes into the affair and I'm pacing through the isles with a possible base layer in my hand. "Will it work though" I think to myself. "Does it actually do what it claims to and if so, is that what I want, what I need?" Sure, one jacket may keep the wind and cold off my arms, but will that keep my trunk warm enough and if not, will putting my vest over it make my trunk too hot? Why don't I just get the heavier coat and forget the layer thing, no, I've been through this, what of the warm days, then I'll just have to buy the other stuff anyways for the days global warming is flaring up.
I go back and forth with myself. Why is this one so expensive, why this one so cheap?

I am beginning to believe that it's not that I'm some cool, frugal, non-materialistic, humanist that I don't buy clothes and other stuff more often, rather, it's because I physically can't do it. It's actually a disability, I am disabled. The best things I own, my most cherished articles of clothing and used apparel were given to me as gifts. I have a hat I love, gift from sister. I do own one biking shirt, gift from wife, my favorite work shirts, all given to me by my mother, and it goes on.

Why is it that I love these things given me so? Why are they perfect yet all I find is fault in those things I attempt to pick out for myself? I fear that this is perhaps an indication that I am prone to the active denial of reality. Maybe what I have, my current status and situation, though not perfect, will never be realized by me because I refuse to admit it. How can it be that I cling so hard and use so avidly those random, unexpected things I receive as gifts, yet everything I purchase just ends up being a big disappointment?

I finally made my way home after the coat fiasco. At the end of the night, three is the number of stores I visited on the way home from work, zero is the number of coats I brought home, one is the square I am currently on. Come mid-January, ask me what I'm wearing if I bike to your house, odds are it will be an overly torn set of long johns, a random long sleeve shirt, my wonderful vest and some jeans (not new). If anything new, it's only because someone beat it out of me what I was looking at and they went and gifted it to me, so now, of course, I love it.