"Are You Smarter than [an American]"

Just watched my first episode of the popular television show "Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader," and by "watched" I mean I made it through seven minutes. I would like to note that said seven minutes of air time consisted of 90% dead air with 5% tense background noise and 5% actual content randomly strewn through over the base 90% dead air.

The show opened with background highlights from the end of the previous episode. Turns out the show last left the leading contestant in quite the conundrum (no it did not have to do with spelling, defining or properly using that last word, that must be sixth grade). Contestant was given the question, "which of these is a palindrome: a) vroom; b) jumbo shrimp; c) racecar?" Apparently the contestant needed to use his elementary school child helper to answer this one (her answer was correct: racecar). Fine, not everyone is into those fun poetic instruments of language, in contestant's defense, when do we really need these types of facts in our day to day?

The issue began with the question that followed. Contestant was given a sentence his task being to pick out the preposition. Contestant did not (or pretended he did not) know, outright, what a preposition was so he had what we call a problem on his hands. Contestant proceeded to think out loud spewing out a stream of smart sounding deductive reasoning in an attempt to narrow down the sentence word by word ruling-out those less likely to be this mysterious preopsition. He did in fact narrow the sentence down to the correct word, thus gaining another 100k.

Problem, contestant's "deductive" reasoning stream was too clean. This created an environment of scholastic question to me. It reminded me of the little kid that hides his mothers keys just to be naughty. The mother, fed up with the situation, decides to play into the child's silly game presenting the child with an irresitable deal, "whoever finds mommies keys gets a prize." Child, lacking the development of a good poker face and drunk with greed for the prize, immedietely "finds" mommies keys; child is punished. A more expereinced child may have had more reign over his or her greed and remembered the game by spending some time "looking" for these "missing" keys thus preserving the sharade and avoiding punishment and perhaps even forcing mommy to produce a "prize."

Contestant did no such thing. Contestant was child number one and should thus be punished. This amazing reasoning conjurs two questions, 1) how could one with such amazing reasoning skills not know what a preposition is in the first place?; and 2) as I mentioned earlier, could it have been that contestant was simply acting as though he did not know the answer to play it all up? I believe that 2 is the answer. First clue is the amazingly quick and clean reasoning line spit out as if rehearsed (nothing is that clean when there's 100k riding on it). Second clue comes from the climate of the show at large, the 90% dead air and anxiety creating "music."

Yes, we all know that the word "on" is the preposition, get ON with it. No, the host proceeds to prance around the stage smoozing with the fifth graders forming the background and hamming it up (anxious music continues in the background). We wonder why we're all stressed out. Perhaps entertainment should

What do other countries think of us? Adult Americans now need to compare themselves with fifth graders to maintain the staus quo. Everyone is a genious when compared the the right thing. Yes, I can run logicaly circles around a kindergardner; really doesn't help me sleep at night, not going to find me testing this out, don't need proof of it.

This brings to mind a show that is based around the host traveling around the world eating strange foods. The host has eaton everything from live bugs to raw pork, smiling all the way. I have this horrible feeling that the host's show may be doing double duty without him knowing it. Yes, in the US the show is about this courageous foodie trying exotic dishes as we all sit back and think, "those foreigners, so strange, so backwater." While other countries are tuning into their favorite show (same show), "What Won't Americans Do?" or some such title, sitting back thinking, "stupid, stupid Americans, they'll do anything for money."

We Don't Need the News, the News Needs Us.

We must realize that as much as the news and media are there to watch
and inform and keep us up to date on whatever, at the end of the day,
the media has simply become another business. It is another business with a product
to sell, which we may or may not need and they know it.

Therefore, much of their time and effort are spent figuring out how to sell their product, how to
get it in front of us, to make it seem more relevant/dramatic/earth shattering, how to make us think we need it, that we cannot make it without it.

No, news, we do not need you to help us through a snow storm, we don't need you informing us what common item in every kitchen can and will kill us (but for some reason has failed to thus far). In the event you do have something truly important to say, say it now, not after the next commercial break. Do you realize that when you wait to impart to me that life saving tidbit until after the commercial break you have just allowed me to survive at least the length of one more commercial break without your help? Who's to say I can't survive perhaps another commercial break without you? I might even get cocky and attempt to watch an entire movie (without you).
And stop attaching living attributes to non-living things. No news, a storm does not savagely tear through a city, savages savagely tear through things. Sometimes I get the feeling that many of these news anchors and reporters are simply unsuccessful, suppressed writers.

For all those who hold to some level of evolution, who believe that through time a given species will advance and give up or modify aspects about itself which cease to be helpful, the news is an interesting metaphor of how difficult it is to break old habits and why evolution takes so so long. Mass hysteria cannot be good for any species, this cannot in any way advance a race in number or intellect, yet it is mass hysteria that the media thrives on. It is the base theme of anything they present and when it's not part of the initial product they synthesize some of their own through catchy phrases and neat adjectives and the final message comes out oozing in fear and anxiety.

In defense of the media, fear sells. However, since when is the media supposed to be selling something? You're not a business, you're supposed to be a neutral observer, relaying FACTS not packaging mediocre banter as that which just may save my life.

The media is one of two things these days: 1) another business with a product trying to figure out how to sell it. Or, 2) that annoying gossipy girl (or boy) in high school that everyone got a kick out of listening to at the moment, but at the end of the day, no one really took seriously, actually they were really kind of joke to begin with.